healing myself

After taking off two weeks plus a few days from my yoga (have not done that in ages) I got back on the mat. It happened last Wednesday night at 10:30pm. I was getting ready for bed; my left leg was feeling all numby and crappy and I just had it. For some reason without thinking I decided to do my yoga practice - that simple. It was painful - I couldn't jump back or forward - too much pain. Focusing on my breath saved me. Just before midnight I finished and even though from an asana pov it was probably one of my weakest practices I felt amazing. Took a shower and went to bed - and when I laid down in bed I realized the numbness in my leg was gone.

Maybe I can heal myself.

Thursday and Friday did not practice; not enough time and mentally wasn't in the right frame of mind.

Saturday I got back on the mat. The pain was so intense in my left leg, I was literally in tears and had to stop several times throughout the standing postures, but somehow persevered. Once I hit the seated postures was feeling better and even managed to get into a rhythym. Finished first series and moved to second series up to the first seated twists and went straight to back bending. Something kept telling me that I needed to practice as this was the only way I was going to heal myself. Finally I listened.

Sunday - back on the mat. Again, full practice through second. And amazingly, although had some pain I wasn't reduced to tears. In just three practices I was feeling so much better. Every time I experienced the numbness in my left leg I just let go and concentrated on the breath.

Monday - tonight after work I got back on the mat. Was tired from work but am really looking at my practice from a healing perspective and what I need to do (so screw the moon day). Went up to navasana in first series and then skipped to second. Pain continues to reduce; but tonight I was just tired and hungry so didn't do the complete program.

My goal is to get on the mat every day this week. At minimum I want to do standing postures, back bend prep postures, back bending, closing, and seated meditation.

Saturday we leave for Paris - I cannot wait.

Pain...

I know there must be a lesson in the pain that I'm experiencing and that I must be refusing to listen to it, hence the pain won't go away. 

It's been more than four months now that I hurt my back and my left leg has never been the same. I continue to walk with a limp that I very carefully try to hide. Until two weeks ago I continued with an almost daily yoga practice, but since returning from a work trip to Portland I stopped my practice - thinking that might help. It hasn't. Interesting, when in Portland I was practicing daily - except for the week-end.

While the summer has been okay I can't stop focusing on the pain that I've been experiencing. Even right now I feel the throb on the side of my left calf - it just doesn't go away. So almost daily I apologize to D for being such a bitch. At work I do my best to cover it up and for the most part succeed. This only means that when I finally do make it home I'm miserable until I have a glass of wine.

I have to deal with the pain, stop being a B, and get out of my funk. I just don't know how. I'm getting an MRI in the next few weeks to rule out anything serious.

My Life as a Turkey mum

Perhaps I DO know how to heal myself. Back is almost back to normal. Going to try mysore in the morning.

Last night D and I watched the BBC2's My Life as a Turkey. What an amazing show. You can watch the full length show for two months online. Not only did Joe (the biologist) become the mum to these wild turkey's, he shares all the lessons he learned along the way - including the emotional connection he made. He frequently spoke about how wild turkey's live in the moment and how everything we need is right here right now. I like how he used the phrase 'don't betray the moment'.

One of the best shows I've watched in a long time. The cinematography is amazing. I hope you take the time to view it.

August 1 starts with a back spasm.

I have not been around much in blog land. July was a busy month - work, life - family/friends, yoga. No recap required - just life.

This morning I was very much looking forward to being able to go to mysore practice. The teacher here only teaches one week out of the month. He just started this in July. I went to and it basically got me on the track of establishing my own early morning home practice. The idea being that I would practice three weeks and then go to his class one week out of the month.

So Sunday morning I was luxuriating in the fact that i didn't start my practice until 7:30am (compared to my 6am start). I did all of first up to garba pindasana and then started second series. I finish at Ardha Matsyendrasana. I was nice and warm so decided to practice the leg behind the head just to see how it feels. I start with my good side - left. Got it back there with relative ease. Then my right leg - it's always tight - so was just coaxing it back and forth gently (definitely not pushing it) and then it happened. I just felt my lower back spasm. Not a OMG what did I do - but enough to say okay that's enough. I'll just go and do my back bends and then finish.

Started to warm up for back bends (it's a home practice and my day to play and add things in) and definitely knew that I did something. Skipped back bending and just went into closing.

Had breakfast and definitely knew I did something but decided to ignore it.

D and I went for our walk back in the woods for just over an hour, back home, had our second breakfast, read the paper, took a short nap, another walk to the store and finally I acknowledged that indeed I had done something. I wasn't in pain - but I just couldn't arch my back - forward bends felt great.

What's interesting to me is that when D started to give me a massage - I just lost it - complete cry baby. Not something I often do, I have a very high pain tolerance. Maybe it's just all these little (and not so little) injuries that I've had this past year - whatever the reason I just really had myself a good cry. After the massage felt a bit better. At the end of my massage he rubbed this homeopathic rub that is to be used for headaches. Rubbed that on my lower back and it was basically like icey/hot without being sticky and smelly.

Rest of day just basically chilled and constantly moved around to see if my range of motion would improve. It wasn't looking good for this morning mysore.

Woke up through the night and just decided to pass. Got up at 5am and there was no way this cranky body was going to make it through practice.

So, here I am at work. Trying to make sure I get up and walk around every 30 minutes - fortunately only have two meetings - so I'm actually able to do this.

I'm able to arch slightly with no pain. I'm thinking I'll be back on for mysore in the morning and will just have to modify.

In the meantime I'm really wondering what is going on with my body - am I trying to do too much? Work can be all consuming if I let it be, family stuff completely occupying my mind, and then just living over here with all of the little differences - which I think I've acclimated too quite nicely except for the excessive littering habit of the locals. I don't know - now I'm just rambling.

Time to get up and do my walk about.

summer?

I've been reading about the summer heat in various parts of the US - I'm a little bit jealous. I say little bit, because I don't like heat - heat. But my god; we still have the heat on in this house! That's just not right. We're lucky if the high is 65; I wear a jacket every day to work, I wear short sleeved shirts and freeze all day (so I wear a scarf to compensate - thank god I have a good collection!). We even turned on the living room fireplace one night this past week. I finally took the wool throw off the bed; wish I hadn't. I've been waking up in the middle of the night freezing; that's with flannel sheets and and a light cover on top. As I'm writing this blog, D is laying on the sofa with a blanket cuddling with Mooshi and Juju.  Summer?

I have managed to get on my yoga mat Tuesday-Friday this past week. Well, I should clarify. I wake up, lay in bed with my over active monkey mind anywhere from 4 to 6, after I finally quiet the monkey mind I roll out of bed between 5:45 and 6:00am, throw on yoga clothes, walk next door to where my yoga mat lies waiting for me, start with 5 cat/cow moves and then to the top of my mat. Once I get past the first two or three Surya A's I'm fine and amazingly managed some decent practices. Finish around 8, shower get ready for work, fortunately my commute is only 15 minutes or so and roll into work around 9ish or a few minutes after. It really doesn't matter, I work so late with those fun calls back to the US a few nights a week. Plus, I get a shitload of work done each week - seriously.

Speaking of work. I had my 1:1 with my boss today - we get along really well - great mutual respect for one another. Whatever I do, he has my back. My team on the other hand - well I'll just say it's a work in progress. I doubt if they ask me to extend my contract here for another year I will accept. I don't know... I think I'd rather move over to Amsterdam and work at European HQ's. Will see - still too far in the future.

Planning trip back to Portland in August. While for work I cannot wait to see my sister, yoga friends, and perhaps even a trip up to Seattle to visit a friend. Will work out the details next week.

This week-end we're heading out for some hiking - it's supposed to be sunny both in the Peak and Lake District - need to figure out which direction to head to. Next week I'm taking Thursday and Friday off - want to drive down south somewhere. Need to figure out where.... I'm in the mood for a roadtrip with a loose agenda.

So, it's Friday night, D has fallen asleep on the couch and I'm downloading music off of iTunes. Such an exciting life we have. (seriously though, I love it)

is it too early to retire?

Normally I do not blog about work.

But I have just have to take a moment out of my day to seriously consider the possibility of cashing out on all my stock and retire right now!

Hello again....

Wow - such a long time since my last post. Life's been busy. 

We finally discovered the Lake District (amazing!), and we visited Shakespeare's birth place down south, had to travel to China again, of course I make time to be on the yoga mat, and oh yeah there's work. Implemented a big organizational change at work - very happy that's over and we started a new FY which equates to a lot of work.

Things have not really settled down, but getting back to my 6am yoga practice has helped instill my priorities. Unfortunately there is not ashtanga studio in the greater Manchester area that offers a traditional morning mysore program. But, fortunately, there is a great ashtanga teacher (Matt Ryan) who is teaching mysore one week out of every month. And finally this month I'm in town so I signed up. Since I've moved to the UK this is the first week that I've managed a six day full on ashtanga practice! Now if I could just muster the discipline on my own. The August week that Matt is teaching I'll be traveling again. I'm bummed; even trying to get out of that trip so that I can stay in town. Will see if I'm successful or not.

A bit of a sporadic post; but it's something. Need to get back to work.

Compassion

What a week.

Work.
Mentally, mentally draining, I finally ompleted my re-org. It's been a two week process. Through it all I've had some of the toughest conversations of my career. My intent was to do it with as much compassion as I could and while I like to think that I did; it's hard to know how it was received. From my own personal experience - I've received such news quite brutally. It's hard enough to know that you're changing someone's life - at least one could do it with compassion.
We are all human.

Personally.
One of our dearest friends back in the states is dealing with a major illness and life changing events. We talked to him Sunday evening last week-end and although we knew he was ill, more and more details keep coming forward, and then after hearing his voice - it's just all very surreal. Partly due to the distance, but it's also brought to surface conversations of our own mortality. It's definitely not a new subject to us, but after a long day at work it's not the easiest subjects to have. We watched some silly TV last night and I still managed to cry. I obviously needed the release.

Yoga.
Interesting that when everything seems to be swallowing me up, these are the times that when I come to my yoga mat that seriously have some of my best practices. Not because of any great strength or flexibility or becuase I can get into whatever pose I might be especially working on. No, not any of that. As I stand at the top of my mat and set my intention for the practice - to simply be present, breathe in, breathe out, to experience all the slightest feelings in my body and just release.

The week-end lies ahead. No specific plans, although I would like to get out and have a good walk with D.

lousy practice - lousy yogi

I went home last night with best intentions to do full primary and then all of my second series poses. I was sooo mentally in the mood...

But then this is what happened.

Walked in, talked to D for a bit, hi to the cats and then immediately went upstairs to set up the mat in the spare bedroom. While I would like to practice on the wood floors in the conservatory it's right next to the kitchen where too many temptations lie.

Upstairs in the bedroom, Juju (my cat), was in need of some love. Which basically means lots of purring and staring at me so that I would stop whatever I was doing and hold her. So, I ignored her. D came in and announced we have nothing for dinner and asked what I wanted. My response - I have no idea. I set up my mat and changed into my yoga clothes. Juju following me. D comes back into the bedroom and announces he's going to the grocery store and why don't I come along. No, I really want to do my yoga. D putzes around and asks again what I want for dinner - um still don't know and I really, really want to do my yoga! (says the agitated yogi)

Finally on my yoga mat. Surya A - my left leg still sore, but  focusing on my breath. Juju laying on the bed staring and purring. I forget my drishte in downward dog and talk to her. After 5 A's I move to 5 B's. D in and out of the bedroom as he gets his jacket, etc. I struggle to get through all of my standing postures. Juju wanders onto the mat and decides to lay down in the middle of it during one of my downward dogs. I practically crush her, but she just whines and refuses to move. Me - gets frustrated. Screw yoga. But wait I really want to work on backbends. D comes home and wanders into the bedroom. Could I have anymore distractions?!? Screw the rest of the series - I decide just to go into backbends. The first one was aweful - could not have been flatter than a pancake. Suffered through it and did six or seven more they progressively get better. Drop backs on the wall remembering the learnings from the Matthew Sweeney workshop. A few more from the floor. Considering I didn't do any of my the 2nd series prep poses for backbends I'm feeling okay with how they went. I skip all of the closing postures. Juju is annoying the heck out of me.

I change into my swimsuit and decide that savasana (rest pose) will be done soaking in the hot tub (with a glass of wine). I walk through the kitchen; grab my wine, few words to D, I am indeed in a pissy mood. Basically upset with myself for not having the discipline to do what I had set out to do and now taking it out on D and Juju. What happened to what I just read the night before? That a yogi is how one behaves off the mat. I sit in the hot tub, drink my wine and think.

I certainly have a long way to go.

Three signs for my yoga practice

I've always been the type of person where I need to do something fully.

 

Back during my marathon running days I would run at minimum five miles a day. Anything less than that not only wasn't good enough but just wasn't worth it from a time pov. I don't know how or why I got that stuck in my head but I did. I would always schedule 90 minute break for my lunch hour; this allowed for a 5-10 mile run, plus shower, and time to grab my lunch and head off to my next meeting. This was normal and was able to easily maintain this schedule five days a week. I had many running friends and I work at a company that encourages some form a physical activity anytime during the working day. So when I transitioned from being a runner to an ashtangi I kept this same thinking. I must do my full practice! In the US I was able to manage my schedule rather well so that rarely did I ever do a shortened practice.

 

Well that has all changed. I'm living in the UK with a completely different life and I'm struggling to find time for my daily full ashtanga practice. Having to settle for three to five practices a week. Of course, I take full responsibility for this. I have had to prioritize other aspects of my life above my practice; it hasn't been easy. And unfortunately I haven't been able to shift my 'all or nothing' thinking to my yoga practice.

 

Sign one.
Last night before I turned into bed I was talking to D about all of this and he reminded me that I'm no lesser of a person and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. It's all about balance. And that having some down time (means - relax) is also essential to the body and mind. This coming from the most disciplined person I know (he's a musician and practices hours and hours a day, scales, scales, scales and then more exercises, etc).

Sign two.
Before turning in I decided to read a bit from the Guruji book. I read the interview with David Swenson and in it he said a few things that just hit home.  I wish I had the book in front of me - but I'm at work. Essentially it was about life doesn't always allow us to do our full practice and that it is equally important to be able to go through your daily life (work, interaction with others, grocery shopping, etc) as a yogi. And that getting on your mat for just 5 A's and 5 B's is good.

Sign three.
I read CK's blog this morning and today's posting reads:
     SHORTENED HOME PRACTICE FOR ASTHANGIs
       For when there isn’t enough time for a full practice

So there I have it - three signs in less than 24 hours.
I definitely need to change my 'all or nothing' frame of mind.

Take 10 deep breaths...

Today is definitely going to be my most stressful day at this new job since I started. While I don't want to go into detail; I'll just say that this is the least favorite part of being a manager.

Interesting that I received this link in an email last night. Simple but oh so effective. This is yoga at your desk.

http://www.take10deepbreaths.com/

Practice last night was better than expected. First time I did my full 2nd series - that's to Ardha Matsyendrasana for me with no pain. I was so focused on my breath and being strong in the legs. Backbends felt great - still reaping the benefits from Sunday's backbending workshop with Matthew Sweeney.

Matthew Sweeney yoga workshop recap

I am so glad I attended the yoga workshop this past week-end. It fed me physically and perhaps more importantly mentally. I was prepared to take notes during his talks, but then decided against it. I wanted to be completely present listening to him. Whenever I take a notes I often find I miss half of what the presenter says.

Friday night's session we did his moon sequence. Given the fact that my leg was still bothering me and that my practices over the last few weeks have been hit or miss this is what I needed. The longer holds and the focus on hip openers was perfect for my sciatica and left leg.

Saturday morning's class was basically two thirds of primary and then we went back and revisited some of the standing postures. Matthew pointed out that most of us fly through the standing postures when we really should focus on them more as they build much needed strength in the legs - required for backbending postures. The afternoon we focused on jump through's and jump backs. He does a great job of prepping for each of these and then breaking them down into achievable 1-2-3-4 steps. Very accessible for all no matter where you're at in your practice.

Sunday morning class was the Lion sequence - from my understanding an alternative to ashtanga 2nd series and much more accessible to students. Great focus placed on standing postures and waking up the legs. Really enjoyed this and suprised how shaky my legs were! We did a series of postures where we were kneeling but rather having the feet flat we were curled up on our toes. Afternoon session was backbending. Another area that many students rush through - his recommendation is to work on backbending much more in our practice.

At the end of each session Matthew held an open discussion for close to an hour. Although I knew much of what he said I needed to hear it again. I realize that although I may know something in my head I don't always know it at the cellular level. This is definitely where my work lies ahead.

The guy is incredibly down to earth, willing to share his experience and learnings, and very inspiring. While I could go into much further detail I'm still digesting all that I learned.

I would love to do his month long Thailand retreat. I spoke to my hubby and he was of course incredibily supportive and says I should do it. I'm going to give it some more thought and then see if I can swing it. After all this company does owe me a seven week sabbatical!

Patience & my ego

I will be cultivating patience for the rest of my life.

It is certainly not in my nature and definitely one of my biggest stumbling blocks on and off the mat. Which is probably why I am constantly provided opportunities to test and explore where I am at with this virtue. My latest test - my left leg.

My left leg. Argh!!! It was the more flexible of the two. I could easily put it behind my head. Now - not so much; actually not even close. While I know none of this should matter my ego keeps rearing it's ugly head to remind me how attached I remain to the physical part of my practice.

Still so much to learn.

So, I decided to to the Matthew Sweeney workshop this week-end. Even though my practice is half of what it is. It will be a good mental practice to let go of the ego and cultivate patience. I have a very complicated work week ahead of me; this will definitely help put me in the right frame of mind.

Matthew Sweeney workshop

Debating whether to do his workshop this coming week-end. Assuming there is still a spot left.

The sciatica is much better - but not completely healed. As I've read more about it and from prior postings it's not something I'll recover from quickly. I know I must learn patience. So I can't decide if I should sign up for his workshop or not.

I'm in need of some inspiration. With my sisters here for a couple of weeks and then my week in China I haven't been practicing regularly. (although I did practice every day in China, minus one day). At the same time I'll be frustrated not having my full range of motion. Hmmm, guess that's why I still need to learn patience. Interesting how that continues to show up in my life on and off the mat.

I'll decide tomorrow.

too many thoughts...

I need to sit and meditate today.

It's been quite the week.

Just returned from Shanghai yesterday; for work of course, otherwise it's not on my destination hot list. I arrived there last Sunday around midnight, up early for an 8am work start. Amazing to see the change from the last time I was there - approximately four years ago. The hotel I stay at is right next to the Nike office which is quite convenient. It's is more of a complex; in that there's a Starbuck's (that was there years ago too), a bakery serving organic coffees, breads and pastries, a grocery store (underground), doctor's office, dental office, massage place, several restaurants including my favorite - Elements Fresh, where I had my daily juice of spirulina/honey/apple/ginger and amazing salads - all fresh of course!

Work wise the week went well, I was a bit anti-social. After work everyone would go out for dinner; I opted for the gym where they had a perfect area to do my yoga practice and/or I would get a Chinese acupressure massage. Of course I would often meet up for a glass of wine with the group around 10ish.

This was my first business trip where D was in England. It was funny how whenever I thought of him I would see him in our Portland home. I'd have to remind myself that no, he's in England. Of course, the jet leg didn't help, but still interesting how the mind can play with you.

Upon my return I learned a dear, dear friend (A) has cancer. He started a CaringBridge blog for friends and family. I read it out loud to D last night. Although D knew some of the details he didn't know all of it. Needless to say we were a bit numb the rest of the evening. I wanted to call A but knew the moment I'd hear his voice I'd lose it. It doesn't help that it's grey and rainy here.

All in all a very lazy day Monday bank holiday. I needed it.

Did not even go out for our regular walk. Sometimes it's good to give it a rest.

saturday night - missing my sisters

I dropped off my two sisters, Gina and Melissa yesterday at the airport. (well - to be honest - Melissa took a cab; it was 4am afterall!) I miss them!

Melissa - me - Gina 

A few fond memories of our time together:

• Eating - yes, we love to eat. Starting with breakfast - toast, jam, honey with cinnamon on top, and of course some great cheese on the side and a big pot of tea. 
• Shopping - amazed how much Melissa shopped. And some things never change; Gina takes forever!!! She has to look at every item and then ponder and obsess if she should go for it. I am proud that she splurged on a pair of Kurt Geiger boots - to die for!
• Melissa and her "Mrs. Bucket" voice. 
• Our phone conversations with our dear "mum". 'nough said!
• Drinking wine every night with Gina (Melissa was taking sinus drugs). I don't even know how many bottles we went through.
• The amazing fish and chips eaten outside of the shop in Leek!
• Setting our destination every day to wherever the sun was shining - York, Liverpool, the Peak District.
• Melissa and her extremely long legs and arms dangling over all of our pictures. 
• Eating hummus with smoked paprika! Serious yumm!
• British cherry tomatoes - simply the best; especially with English cucumber and onion salad.
• Shopping - me buying a pair of London Fly sandals!
• Not going to London! There's so much more of England to take in.
• Taking photo's of sheep and lots of each other.

And of course the morning they left the sun came out and shined all day. At least we could dry all the bed sheets outside.

I miss you Gina and Melissa! And so does D. But Juju and Mooshi are happy to have the house back to themselves!

York castle.

My yoga injuries

Over the past ten years or so. Some of them took me months or a year to recover.

Right hamstring
Left hamstring
Left shoulder
Right shoulder - not as bad
Left hamstring again
Left sciatica - leg completely numb

I consider all of these 'injuries' lessons. I don't blame any teacher; rather something my body and mind needed to pass through. I'd like to think that I learned something from each of them; but to be honest I don't know if I have.

My last practice was a week ago Friday. And I'm miserable - both physically and perhaps even more mentally. Where is my learning???

no yoga practice since last Friday....

I definitely have done something to my lower back on the left side. I thought I'd be able to work it out, but apparently that is not the case this time around. Over the week-end the pain has radiated down into my leg leaving my leg numb and my toes tingling. All of this is causing me to walk with quite a limp; it's as if I have no control over my leg. Interesting the pain in my lower back is gone.

I made an appointment to see a physio over my lunch hour. I'm not holding much faith that she will be able to do anything, but I am desperate and I could get in.

I miss my Portland doctors - Shizeng and Dr. Shepherd could straighten this out in no time.

So I haven't been able to do any yoga since last Friday, not ideal, but it is what it is. More stressing is that my two sisters arrive a week from today. We are planning  on many hikes and exploring many parts of England - walking the way I am today is sooo not an option!

Manchester Library

My left leg has gone numb, yes numb. The second series poses are definitely affecting my body. I have been slow to change. I'm one of those that have pracited primary series for years. It's a good thing, I loved it. I have had no problem with it, I've never been one that had felt the need to quickly progress. Quite the contrary.

I was a runner, a marathon runner. When introduced to ashtanga by my dear friend Sarah, it was painful. Absolutely painful! I could barely bend over. Interestingly enough I was hooked. I had this feeling that this is something I needed to do for my longetivity and for my overl all well being.. Unlike running ,where one of my key goals was to qualify for the Boston marathon, which I did and then ended up not running it.

Anyway, why I am thinking all of this now? Well, I'm finally progressing into second series. Slowly over the last year. And now my body is reacting to this change. I'm actually wondering if I'm changing too quickly. I've only been with my new teacher for the past six months and since then I've been moved from kapotasana to Ardha Matsyendrasana. I can't help to wonder if this is to quickly or is this something my body is getting accustomed to? I'm not a natural backbender, I'm not a natural anything - primary series took me years to get. And now my leg is numb.

hmmmm.

D also reminded me I've been through an immense change over the last seven months. Moving to new country, new job, new driving on the wrong side of the road (yes it is the wrong side!), new cooking for myself (never have) and just living on my own (which I've never done - no never!), everything new!!! So after seven monthis, my husband finally moved over here. And since then I'm breaking all over, first a cold and now my leg going numb. Maybe I'm finally relaxing as  I couldn't be more happy. Plus, it appears I'm progessing in my yoga practice. Is this all related? I don't know, just something I've been thinking about.

So, a major walk was out of the question today. Instead we explored Manchester. First off, the Art Gallery - a major disappointment. I won't go into detail, let's just so they need a much better curator! Second on the list with the Pulic Library - which was amazing!!!! The building itself was gorgeous, but then we saw a the Shanamah (Persian epic poetry from the 1500's) - amazing. I think we're going back tomorrow - I want to sit in the stacks and do some journaling, there's something very special about this place.

A funny thing to note. I only know work people here so never expect to run into anyone I might now - which is just fine by me (something I loved when living in NYC - being anonymous). So imagine my suprise when one of my employees, Graham, comes up to me in a store and scares the crap out of me! Too funny, he couldn'e be more nice. Met his wife and daughter and introduced him to D. A nice suprise indeed.

After we came home decided to take a salt bath, D massaged my leg, I think it feels better but still numb. I have an appointment on Wednesday with a physio - not sure what he can do, but will give it a try. I miss my Portland Chinese doctor - Shizeng. He would put be back together.

So no yoga for two days in a row. Going to class tomorrow and will just do what I can. Will see....

The Royal Wedding

Yes, I watched Kate wed Will on the tele and I am not ashamed to admit it!

Not much else has happened today. Sometimes it is good to have a lazy day.

Being in the moment

D and I went for an early morning walk this morning. This guy knows me too well sometimes!

I wasn't in a great mood - I don't know why, weird dreams maybe. Anyway, towards the end of our walk D pointed out to me that I was not in the moment and basically shame on me. Just to note - it WAS a gorgeous morning - clear blue sky, the birds were in full song, the river that we walk along was literally sparkling from the sun hitting it. Absolutely perfect.

So what is wrong with me?

Of course his comment put in a pissy mood. But at the same time he WAS right! I wasn't in the moment, I was thinking of work and blah, blah, blah. And then he topped it off by saying what's the point of all this yoga if you can't enjoy being in the moment? Ugh - he can be so spot on it's sickening.

I need some re-evaluation on my life priorities.

lack of focus

Struggling to stay focused at work yesterday and again today. Obviously having such an awesome four day week-end has had it's affect on me and to put it simply I need more downtime from work. Since I started this gig in September of last year I have barely taken a break. The only time off I had was over Christmas and that was spent back in Portland with D. Plus it wasn't much downtime as there was so much work dealing with moving over here to the UK.

So after seven months with everyone moved over, D, Mooshi, and Juju I finally was able to relax. The four days off were great - I just need more! I went home over lunch hour today and went for a short walk with D. I was complaining how I was lacking any focus at work; he laughed and just said of course, we've been having so much fun - what did I expect? I relaxed. I'm doing what I need to do at work and not much more. It's all good.

I am leaving at a decent hour so that I can do my solo yoga practice at home. I was thinking of doing the split as my teacher wants me to. But since I didn't practice yesterday I really want to do my full practice. I'll see how I feel.

Tomorrow is a full day at work - a lot to do. Kind of glad to have so many meetings - it will make me focus more. I'll take whatever help I can get.

the close of a four day week-end

Work life balance is so simple when one only works three days a week. At least I get to live that life this week. Actually, I cannot complain (well I can and generally do, but I'm in a good mood).


Last week was a four day work week,
This week is three days,
Next week is four days,
Following two weeks I'm on holiday with my sisters in town
After that I'm off to Shanghai for a week (ok - that's work).


That takes me to the end of May.


In June I will most likely head back to WHQ for work meetings; but of course will tack on some days off to be with my sister and her family. Come back and it will be July. I hear July and August weather in England is generally wet and not so nice; so am planning to explore Spain and Italy with D.


I am so incredibly fortunate.


Decided to go to yoga class tonight even though I was tired and wanted to lay on the couch and drink wine. Of course, once I was there glad I made the effort. While not a great practice, it wasn't bad. I got my shoulders touching in kurmasana. I've always been close, but with such damn long legs it's hard to get legs totally flat. Plus all those years of running doesn't help. Yasmin gave me one more pose Ardha Matsyendra. While the pose looks easy, I definitely feel it in my shoulders. And here I thought my shoulders were open - I guess there is always more opening....


After class Yasmin told me I get to split my practice. My first words were yeah! As it is I completely rush through my entire practice and it takes me just under two hours. By the time I get to the end where I should really be working hard, I'm exhausted. By splitting, I can cut out more than half of the primary series and go straight into 2nd series. This will allow me to really work on my backbends which need a much more work. Plus, I  would like to get all the foot behind head poses which would help me with supta kurmasana.


okay D needs my help with something - gotta go.


I haven't proof read - so hopefully this isn't too sloppy.

what a gorgeous land....

Over the last two days we've been exploring.
Friday morning we were up early and drove over to York for the day. Love that city and look forward to returing with my sisters. We bought some pottery from a couple at the local market there and we got to talking to them, they told us to visit the York Art Gallery as David Hockney was showing his Bigger Trees near Water. The painting is composed of 50 panels - it covers the largest wall at the museum.

WOW! truely amazing - this is a must see for anyone living or visiting England. We've always loved Hockey's work, but neither of us were aware of his time spent in North Yorkshire and his series of paintings he did. What a suprise! We watched the entire film that they were showing as well.

So, how do you top a day like that?

Yesterday, we drove over to the Peak District and had a few more wows! Thanks to J from Macclesfield we were able to navigate over to the Chatsworth area; but we actually never went to the Chatsworth house! I know, I know, but we will be back. Instead we went for a beautiful walk near Cubar and Calver area - I'll post pic's later, the rocks and cliff edges provided us some amazing views. We stopped for a much needed jolt of coffee at Ashford in the Water at a cute little tea house where she had an outside garden with chickens of course. Got home around 7:30, thankfully had some great leftovers and I was in bed reading by 9!

Need to clean up before yoga and plan today's itinerary.

off to a good start

Slept in this morning until 8! This is so unheard of. Of course, woke up at my normal 4am but just kept snoozing; so nice. I needed the sleep. Even D stayed in bed which happens maybe five times a year - the guy only sleeps like four hours a night. I decided I was going into work late this morning. I've been putting in a ton of hours lately. So we went for a nice walk in our backyard park. D made a great breakfast, eggs (I cannot be vegan here as the British eggs are seriously the tastiest!), some spelt toast covered in my current favorite of New Zealand raw honey and then heavily sprinkled with cinnamon and a big pot of tea. Some serious yum. I finally strolled into work around 10:30.

I even managed to get my critical work stuff done.

So, off to a good start.

Conference calls

I'm halfway through a two hour conference call with WHQ. So far I have said six words; three of which were "good morning everyone" (it is morning over there).

I just want to document this. Such bs.

HQ's calling...

Received an email from headquarters in Beaverton that basically said stop everything, do this and send back in 24 hours. Which for me means I have today only. So, I've cleared my calendar as much as I can and need to get after said task.

It's probably the last thing on my list that I want to do.

Now if I could just find where I put my focus? Maybe it's in the coffee shop...

Stop littering England!

This morning D & I went for an early morning walk at the park in our backyard - called the Carrs. It has a lovely river that you can walk by; the sound of the water is very meditative. Unfortunately we've both been suprised how much litter is in the river and in the park itself. Okay, it's not a ton, but still enough that you notice. We both figured it was lazy kids not throwing their trash away.

Well, this morning as we were walking; a lady came out with her little dog and he was carrying some used plastic food container that someone had left. She was telling her dog to drop it and let it go; but hey, this was a new toy to him and he was having fun. After we passed her I looked back and just happened to see her pick up the plastic container and throw it into the river!!!!  OMG - I was shocked. There was a refuse bin not five steps ahead of her. I wanted to go back and say something to her; but wasn't feeling up to a confontation. I have to say though it really pissed me off!

Maybe it's having lived in the great Pacific NW where seriously I just didn't see such carelessness. But I have noticed in the sidewalks of Wilmslow - this supposedly nice little richy town, that it's really dirty. (in fact I think I have written about it before) There's little pieces of trash everywhere - the sidewalks are not kept clean at all. I don't know what's up with the locals here;  do they not care what there surroundings are like?

Stop littering England and use your trash bins!!!

week-end rewind

Friday night-
Came home and was in a bad mood due to work. So went for a walk by myself over to the Old Mill Quarry. D had already walked for two hours and didn't want to go. It was for the best; I just wanted to clear my head anyway. Came home and wasn't feeling so great. We decided to stay in. Since I was planning to go to yoga class in the morning I didn't want to practice that night. Plus; let's face it, my ability to do home practices are pretty much non-existent. Instead I did some lazy yoga and stretched a bit. Knowing that Y would crank me into Kapo I thought I should do a little prep work; was using the blocks to help mimick the posture. Not such a great idea; although it felt okay I don't think I was warmed up enough for such a deep back bend.

Saturday morning -  (be forewarned this is a yoga practice report)
Sure enough the back felt tweaky. Practice felt fine until Kapo; and it was just too much. Y got me into it, but then wanted me to do it on my own; but my back had a different idea. Didn't happen. Yet, for whatever reason Y still gave me two new postures (in ashtanga yoga, you're teacher decides when to move you along and will add postures given your ability). So, now I am up to Bakasana. There's actually two parts to it - A and B. The A version you just press your knees into your armpits and up you go; then jump back. The B version is more challenging, as you start in downward dog and then jump into it landing on your arms - the feet are not to touch the ground (mine did). Grimly here does a beautiful version of it. Of course, by the time I got here I had already done all of first series; so energy level is beginning to wan. By the time I got to backbends after all of this; my back had said enough. I did my normal back bend routine and then Y had me scoot up so that my head was against the wall; so that my wrists would also be against the wall when coming up. Then I worked on walking my feet in and placing my chest on the wall. When it came for standing and dropping back - couldn't do it. My back said nooooooo.

Went straight to closing, but by then I had practiced for an hour and forty-five minutes and D was waiting for me. So, I rushed through closing (which I hate to do; I love the closing postures) and then I barely did my seated meditation, laid down for savasana for like three breaths. When my body really needed a good 10 minutes.

When I was changing I could already feel my left side of my lower back screaming at me. I was pissed at myself. If I were at home I could go to my naturalpath chiro and he could do his controlled force technique and put me back together. This is one of the pitfalls of living abroad and not knowing the system over here or getting good recommendations from people you trust. So instead I took a salt bath. Tried to find castor oil; but it seems no one knows what castor oil is here.

After Saturday yoga there was a little market going on in Chorlton; both D and I got some vegan paella - yummy! And then we picked up some lemon cake and a chocolate brownie. This is addition to the cakes that D had bought while waiting for me. (oink, oink). We then set off for a drive. I had wanted to drive over to Chatsworth house - but I couldn't bring it up on my sat nav. So we just set off to somewhere over in the Peak District. Unfortunately, my back was killing me plus I felt like crap. So, when we hit Bolton and spotted a Waitrose we stopped to get me some allergy medicine. I took it and it did nothing! What I thought was allergies was indeed a cold. We found a spot for coffee - chamomile tea for me and we enjoyed our cakes (we only ate two!). Then we headed back home.

D got me some cold medicine and we stayed in Saturday night. We watched Manchester City beat Man United! Of course, working at Umbro here I was going for Man City. However, that doesn't really matter since I really work for Nike and Nike owns Umbro. But hey, I guess I felt something for the local team. D made me my yummy raw salad of carrots, red cabbage, onion, avocada and some lettuce - it was delicious!

Sunday -
Breakfast was a giant pot of tea with toast; I top mine with butter, honey and then heavily sprinkled with cinnmamon. I devoured two slices. It was 6:30am; so after food I was tired and laid on the couch - watched the London marathon. By about 10 I was ready to get out of the house. We did our walk over to the Quarry Mill and into the Northern Woods; the walk was cut short as I was getting hungry - it was 1:00. Came home and D made a giant salad. We both wanted back out (it was sunny!) so after a drive around going nowhere we ended up driving into Manchester. Had a nice walk about, picked up some soup bowls and decided to eat Thai food. It should be noted that I parked somewhere incorrectly and ended up getting my first parking ticket! £35.00. Oh well.

Last night was low key - laundry, organizing the spare bedroom and then off to bed.

All in all, it was a good week-end considering my back and having a cold. I feel slightly better today; I can tell the worst is behind me. Hopefully I'll be back to normal in a couple of days.

I really need a break from work. I'm burnt out.

must be allergies

At least that's what I'm sticking with. As long as I tell myself it's allergies and not a cold I don't really consider myself sick.

Somehow managed to eek out my yoga practice last night. It wasn't very pretty but at least I did it. Something is definitely going on with my back. I like to think in a good way - things are shifting and moving around.

I have to focus here at work and get the rest of this China RFI out.

Allergies or head cold?

UGH!

Monday night I started feeling like I was coming down with something; felt it in yoga class. Chose to ignore it. Tuesday early AM like 3ish could barely swallow; throat was sore. D made me a cup of tea with a big dallup of Manuka honey - went back to sleep. Wednesday woke up with a killer headache and just not feeling well. So for the first time in this gig I took a sick day; which for me translates to working from home. So glad I did, by end of day felt much better. This morning came into work. Was fine, but am feeling really exhuasted now and just want to go home and take a nap.

I just need to hold on until 3:30 when I will have finished last critical meeting. Rest of meetings for the day I can put off - there with WHQ anyway. I can call into one meeting late in the day. Rest and then go to yoga - I don't want to miss another day. Already skipped the last two days. I wasn't planning on skipping last night, but ended up putting together D's desk.

We decided just to go with a cheapo desk for our time here. Went to Staples, picked out a decent looking desk, once home D unpacked and carried all the various parts upstairs. Of course none of the parts were labeled and the directions completely sucked. Somehow I managed to stay calm and we put the desk together with relative ease. For some reason I'm pretty good at things like this. I figured out all the pieces and slowly each portion of the desk emerged. Nice!

okay - gotta get back to work.

Great wall of Chester

We drove over to Chester this afternoon. Not really knowing anything about it; but I do remember someone telling me I should go there.

What a nice suprise!

First, the drive there was awesome. Definitely staying off the main motorways is the way to go. We took A51 or is that M51? Such a nice scenic route. We plugged  in the Chester Castle as our destination point for the sat nav. We were almost there when D say part of town that he wanted to stop so we parked the car and set off exploring. What a history this city has. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chester_city_walls

Sitting on part of the old city wall.

The town is really cute. Being Sunday late afternoon most of the shops were closed. But the sun was out and we enjoyed walking around. Definitely will be back.

English country side

Finally after living here for six months we finally took our first journey to the English countryside. The key word is WE.

Simply put it was a fantastic Saturday. D was up early and made French toast - yum! Cleaned the house together, went and got his UK cell phone, and then off to my yoga class. After yoga we stopped off at Unicorn to pick up some food for the road trip. I have learned my lesson not to travel with some food that I like. We were off to the Peak District. I really had no idea where to go so we just drove. Sometimes it's good not toto have a final destination. We ended up in a small town called Dewsberry, which did not feel like an English village at all. Here's why:

It was a community of people from Kashmir, complete with their own bazaar. As we walked through the town it didn't feel as if we were in England at all. It was a great suprise and we enjoyed walking around and people watching.

After a cup of tea and coffee we took off again.

We changed the sat nav for the return drive home so that we were not on the motorway. This turned out to be my favorite part of the trip. At one point we stopped off and went for a short walk and took some pic's. What a gorgeous day.

Cannot wait for our next outing!

MIA

It's been a week since my last post, jeesh what have I been up to?

Well for starters D arrived last Saturday! So, incrediblly happy - I don't even know what else to say. We spent the week-end hanging on each other. Was hard to believe that he was here for good and not just for a week or two and then going back to the states.

Wednesday I had my birthday. Which I my age is not a big deal - I worked (at least I had a good day) came home and D had lavendar roses for me and cute box of grape hyacinths just about to bloom. I love that my birthday is in early spring - my favorite season.

The weather has been gorgeous here - so sunny and warm. I thought England was gray and rainy. What's going on here?

Trying to figure out what to do this week-end. Want to get out to the country for a nice walk. Thinking of driving over to the Peak district for the afternoon. Frankly I don't really care what we do.

I'm on a roll...

Last night despite hunger pains I got back on the yoga mat and cranked out another full practice. Two days in a row - woo hoo! I think my plan is going to be two home practices with all my extra's added in and three days at the studio.

So hard to leave Juju and Mooshi in the mornings. They just follow me around the house, up and down the stairs, back and forth, wherever I go. They are definitely get more settled in. Mooshi still goes on his rants every once in awhile, but he did that back in our home in Portland too. Juju is definitely much more quiet; but she has found her new spots in the house too - she like to sit at the top of the stairs and the purple chair in the dining room which is her favorite spot when I'm in the kitchen (she can easily see me) and after her meals.

Ugh - I'm having such a hard time to focus here at work. I am getting done what I need to; but let's face it I want D to get here. He should be at the house around 2pm Saturday afternoon.

All right need to get back to work - an RFI edit awaits... oh joy!

Home yoga practice

I left work last night and made it on my mat by 7pm and managed to do my full yoga practice. This is a major accomplishment for me. I am going to try and do the same tonight. The one positive thing about a home practice is that I can do prep poses or add in a few poses where I feel like it. I even had an audience with Juju and Mooshi.

I am staying focused day to day and doing my best not to count down when D arrives. But now that I hit hump day I feel like I can kinda count down. He arrives Saturday afternoon - so only three more full days!

a cat (or two) on my lap

This morning after our morning breakfast I made some tea as I had a couple of hours beofre yoga class. Was drinking my tea on the purple chair that I moved to the dining room and decided to read part of yesterday's Guardian. Mooshi jumped up and wanted to join. He loves it when I put my legs up so that he can stretch out on what I call the bridge. So, pulled up another chair - put my legs on it and sure enough he walked out onto the bridge. Juju wanted in on the action and promptly found her spot laying on my chest (all 11 pounds of her). In minutes they were out. After my tea and a bit of reading, I decided to join them. It would have been a great photo, the three of us.

Yoga was simply great. I thought I'd be more sore after taking two weeks off and doing my full practice yesterday. It just took the Surya Namaskara's to warm up and I was fine. After weeks of not putting my feet behind my head I was suprised that the left leg went behind so easily for Supta Kurmasana. Once it was planted there I tried to get my right leg back there, but cannot figure out how to balance on my sit bones to do so. Y came over and stuck it back there for me. I can lower down just fine and grab my hands behind my back; but love it when she squeezes my elbows in - I can almost get a wrist behind (not quite - but close). I need to work on keeping the ankles crossed when I lift out of it; I uncross them as I lift up and then jump back.

But the big suprise was Kapotasana - while I'm not grabbing my toes yet, the pose is feeling less scary; plus I can push up with my hands for the second half of the pose. Y still has to bring me up as my legs just turn to jelly; but am completely suprised that I could do this without practicing it for four weeks. (I should note that I am sure I do not look like the girl in the photo's) My teacher in Portland doesn't let me do the pose yet, so didn't practice while in Ptown and then the two weeks off.

I do wish I could add in the handstand practice in between navasana - but Y is very much by the books. I do like that in some ways as I don't get away with squat - no extra breaths between poses - just go.

Backbends felt better today. I did assisted drop backs and she told me there is no reason I can't drop back on my own. Ummm, yea there is - it's called fear. I will conquer it though.

Enough on the practice report.

Stopped at Unicorn before heading home, so once home I was starved - it was 1:30 and all I had was a banana, a few bites of yogurt and some tea and raisins. Made scrambled eggs, added the left over salmon to it and had some amazing cherry tomatoes on the side; two pieces of toast, with butter, honey and cinnamon sprinkled on top and a pot of smokey green earl grey tea. The cats enjoyed their lick of butter too.

After cleaning up it was already 2:30.

The rest of the afternoon was spent getting the cats orientated to other parts of the house. I managed to set up a barrier so that they won't go up to the 2nd floor (that would be the 3rd floor inthe states; in the UK the 1st floor is Ground or 0; the next floor up is 1st, etc). Closed all the doors to the other bedrooms and the bathroom and just left our bedroom door open. Mooshi was first to explore. Juju finally did a few hours later. But after every exploration they kept coming to the back of the house where they've been living for the past couple of days.

I took down the air mattresse in the conservatory and put that room back together. Did a few loads of laundry. Walked to Waitrose (grocery store) to get some fish to make for Juju, but forgot they close at 4, missed it by about 15 minutes. Walked home.

Had a glass of wine and a piece of marzipan and watched the cats explore.

Made Mooshi some more chicken, sauteed some kale in raw coconut oil for me (so yummy) and made my lunch for tomorrow. I tried to sit in the living room and watch some TV, but the cats had nothing to do with it. They would walk around all corners of the room and then back to their comfy places in the dining room and conservatory. So, we hung out in the conservatory reading the paper and listening to podcasts - The Splendid Table and This American Life - some of my favorites.

It's 9pm Mooshi is stretched out on me asleep - shaking the way he doesn when he's super relaxed and Juju is on her purple chair. I do believe she owns that chair now.

One week of work and D comes. :)

Spring forward - again?

I listen to BBC4 all the time; basically it's replaced NPR for me. Not once this entire week did I hear any report about clocks springing forward this week-end. A co-worker from the states informed me; so I gooogled it and sure enough Sunday night we spring forward here in the UK.

Lucky me, I get to spring forward twice this year!

Week-end plans:

- back on the yoga mat! For two weeks straight back in Portland I was up at 5am and got my practice in starting at 6. Of course it was great to be back in Jason's class. At the same time this was when I was going through a very intense time at work and preparing the cats and D for the move. This past week back in the UK, I have no excuses. Seriously I need to look at my lack of discipline when it comes to a solo practice.
- organize the closets so that D actually has some space when he arrives. Not only have I taken over all the closets in our bedroom but the spare room too.
- in the mood to cook something - going to look through my 'Food of Life' cookbook and make something.
- spend time with the kitty's of course!

AGA stove

Can I just say how much I love the Aga stove that is in this house? Wow - seriously, it makes food taste better.

Today I baked two pieces of Wild Alaskan salmon - they came out perfect! I want one of these stoves when we go move back to the states.

Friday night and I decided to open a bottle of wine and enjoy a glass. Juju remains sleeping under the blanket - she did come out to enjoy some of that salmon. Mooshi has his bouts of complaining and then he's quiet; I'm sure he misses D's rub downs. I try, but I know it's just not the same. He is eating like a little piglet, which is actually good as he's too skinny. His highlight of the day was playing in the fireplace. While the fireplace is clean, his golden coat was completely dusted in ash. That was fun to clean up.

After two weeks of literally no yoga and my body feeling like crap I am going to go to class in the morning. Looking forward to it!

Mooshi & Juju - the arrival

Mooshi and Juju arrived promptly at 3pm. The driver that drove them up from London couldn't have been nicer. And what a patient guy he was. He had the cats in the backseat in their individual carriers - Mooshi was crying, apparently he cried the entire three hour drive. Juju didn't say a word. So odd! Juju has always been the talker.

My plan was to keep them in the conservatory. One room nice and sunny. The only problem was that the gardner just happened to be working (totally not planned) and was mowing the back yard and using the blower. Of course the additional noise didn't help matters. Even with the blinds drawn my two babies were completely freaked out. Mooshi was crying so loudly - he wouldn't stop; Juju came out of her kennel and went and sat inside Mooshi's kennel.

I didn't know this but apparently as part of the customs and import processing they completely clean up the animals and the kennels. When they arrived they didn't look as if they had traveled for the last 24 hours.

By night time both had relatively calmed down. We slept together on the air mattress, reunited at last. Up at five due to Mooshi crying (hungry) plus the morning light was streaming in. Juju finally ate this morning and everyone seems more relaxed (including me).

In another week D will be here and finally after living here for almost seven months we'll be all together.

Mooshi & Juju - leg 2 Newark to London

Last night was very nerve wracking!

The east coast was having very bad weather, lots of fog and in ice according to the flight tracker. But the flight took off, delayed by about an hour - but hey, they were on their way to London.

Landed in London 7:30ish local time!

Mooshi & Juju - the Newark, NJ layover

Our two babies arrived safely in Newark. All afternoon, while trying to work, I was tracking flight #CO485 as they traveled from one coast to another. Needless to say, it was challenging to stay focused.

I came home and went to the grocery store to by a chicken breast for their arrival tomorrow. I had to ask the butcher where the chicken was; for some reason all the chicken is wrapped and just out in the open - I was looking at the meat counter. Anyway, the nice guy showed me where they were. When I asked if I could just buy one (they came in packages of two) he told me I could just freeze one. Of course I had to explain they were for my cats. He was dumbfounded! Seriously, the guy thought I was crazy - his eyes about popped out of his head. I had a good laugh.

Still have to set up their cat litter and get the conservatory room prepared. Will wait to set up the air mattress tomorrow. Want to see what kind of shape they are in when they arrive.

I just can't imagine what they are experiencing. Such an extreme change from their normal every day lives.

Departure is set for 19:15 - Newark time. They are due to arrive in London at 6:20am. Approximately seven hour flight.

Leg 1 - Mooshi & Juju take-off

Email just received from John at Pet Travel:

Hi Liz,

Mooshi and JuJu have departed PDX and are on their way to EWR (Newark).

This was a relief as the person that picked the cats up from the house this morning didn't have a clue. For starters, he thought he was picking up a dog, and then he didn't think he needed to take any of the paperwork. Who was this person???

I spoke with John (Pet Travel) and he was suprised as I was. Not a good sign considering how much I'm paying this company. But, it is what it is and I'm not looking back. All I can think of is little Mooshi and Juju flying to Newark, NJ.

I just shared the email with a good friend at work, he replied with the following:

OMG - the piece that was missing was:

"Mooshi and JuJu purchased their duty-free and spent a relaxing hour curled-up in the business class lounge sipping milk. After arriving in their assigned seats they ordered a glass of Cotes Du Rhone and are now stretched-out, totally pissed (drunk) snoring loudly."

My fingers are tightly crossed for a safe trans-Atlantic crossing.

I am fortunate to have such good friends that can make me smile.

Mooshi & Juju - the journey, part 1

In just a few hours, Mooshi and Juju will begin their long journey from Portland, Oregon to Wilmslow, Cheshire. I couldn't be more nervous for our two babies. I'm most concerned about Mooshi, he's older (15'ish) and set in his ways. Plus, he just had a time of it at the vet's the other day. Juju, less concerned, as she's just a feisty furry ball and I think she should be okay.

They are due to arrive Thursday afternoon. John, from the Pet Travel Company who has arranged all of this, has promised to send me updates through-out their journey. How I wish they would have a web cam in each of their kennels!

It's going to be a very long 36 hours...

Mooshi & Juju

Yesterday D took our two cats, Mooshi and Juju, to their last vet visit for their tick and worm treatment. This treatment has to be given 24-48 hours in advance of their flight. Since their departure is Wednesday at 7:35am with a pick up at our Portland home at 4:30am, we made the vet appointment for Monday at 5:00pm. I spoke with D this morning, apparently they were at the vet for two hours reviewing all the paperwork to ensure everything is in order. Poor Mooshi was terribly upset the entire time and didn't make it easy for the vet. Meanwhile, Juju, who is normally the little terror was completely chill. Not sure what was up with the role reversal.

Here's their itinerary:
CO485
07:35 PDX Departure
15:40 EWR Arrival

CO28
19:15 EWR Departure
06:20 LHR Arrival

After their arrival in London and once they make it through customs, we have a driver that will be driving them directly to our home in Wilmslow. They are expected to arrive sometime in the afternoon.

I am nervous!

mixed emotions

Made it back to the UK this afternoon and did my basic routine. I think I can call it a routine since this is the sixth trip I've done in the last six months, either from the US or from Amsterdam.

1. A quick walk around the house for a bit of an inspection - I'm not sure what I expect to find. Though I'm generally suprised that lights still come on, the fridge is on, etc. (btw - on one return the fridge had cut off). Today's report - all in working order except for the stove light and the hood fan.

2. Walked over to Waitrose to get some groceries. Was pleasantly suprised to see fresh produce - sometimes the pickings on a Sunday afternoon are not the best.

3. Back home, groceries put away, I started to tackle the two overstuffed suitcases. This is my least favorite part of my routine. Mid way through I stopped to enjoy a pot of tea and some dates. After the tea I was really quite tired. So, took out the worn out blanket that I packed and took a nap. (we've had this blanket for years and it has just the right amount of being worn and super soft from all the washings; plus Juju and Mooshi love it too)

4. Back to the bags - unpacked the remaining items. Including Mooshi and Juju's little bed, some of their favorite cat food and cat nip. Also brought some more of our tea cups. It's those little things that make this place feel more comforting.

5. Changed the sheets on the bed and took a shower. Started the laundry.

6. Made my typical dinner after a return flight. Steamed veggies - carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, sweet potatoe with olive oil, white balsamic vinegar, chopped ginger and sprinkled with generous serving of sea salt and black pepper. Very simple, but the veggies tast really good after flying. Plus, made enough for lunch tomorrow.

And now here I am. Waiting for D to get on line so we can skype.

The last couple of days in Portland weren't easy for me. I don't know what I would do without D, I am truly the luckiest person. I was so up and down emotionally. It started when we got his passport with his visa on Friday morning. I was relieved and thrilled. This meant that he could fly out on the 25th and arrive here on Saturday. The cats will be arriving on the Thursday before, so was happy to think that in a week we'd be finally together.

Later that afternoon I was looking at his visa to make sure there were no mistakes and that is when I noticed the 'Valid from' date. For some reason, they marked it April 1 and not the date that when they gave him the visa (like mine). Long and short of it, he will fly out on April 1 and be here on the 2nd. Just a week longer, I know, I know. Still disappointed. The cats will still be here on Thursday afternoon and D will move to a hotel in downtown Portland until he leaves.

On Saturday went for a very long walk with D, before my flight. We had such a good talk. I don't want to write about it yet, maybe it's something for my journal. I'll just say it balanced me and I was much better when I had to say good bye at the airport (again).

By the time D gets here I'll have been here for almost seven months. Through it all it has gone amazingly fast, considering.

Mixed emotions to say the least.

D went to bed before I did!

As this only happens maybe three times a year i thought it should be documented.

RTP

Nike loves its acronyms. Something I will not miss one day.

I don't know what happened to me, but I have completely lost all discipline this week. For the last two weeks I've been up at 5am and on my yoga mat at 6 for a two hour yoga practice. It felt great. And then this past Monday - I skipped. It's been a slippery slope every since. It doesn't make sense. My monkey mind does not shut up and I just give in even though I know better. And what's weird? I've done 80% of what I needed to do for the move - the rest is easy or not a priority. So, what the hell happened to me?
D, of course has been nothing but sweet, and has tolerated my mood swings due to my lack of yoga (yes, I can be quite the big b when I skip multiple practice days).

Add to the no yoga practice I've been eating like a freakin' pig.So lets see, no exercise, not drinking enough water, and I'm over eating = gross, pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about myself. Before I start sounding too pathetic, I do recognize that this too shall pass so in the meantime I'm enjoying my little pig out!

Taking tomorrow off and swearing off all mobile devices for the day. Will see how long I last this time.

RTP = resource the plan. It's FY budgeting time; I swear I will be so happy the day I do not get an RTP email from Miquel (even though he is a very nice guy).

Japan

Compared to what the people of Japan are going through I have not felt much like blogging. The few remaining items that I need to deal just seem trivial. It is really hard to understand the level of devastation that country and the people have experienced. And now the nuclear reactors... It's hard to listen to the news coverage at the same time I want to know.

I've skipped yoga the last two mornings.
Not sure why as my mind (and body) could have used it.
Tomorrow morning I'm back on the mat - I only have three practices left with Jason.

Mooshi and Juju's flight itineraries are booked. The pet travel company has confirmed that all the airports and the UK Border Agency are expecting one orange and one calico cat departing March 23rd.

Fingers are still crossed that D's visa arrives this week.

Meanwhile I'm setting up all of our bills to be paid online. Yes, we're probably one of the last few people on earth that didn't do this before.

Mio Sushi

Lunch today at 3:00 at Mio Sushi off of NW 23rd. We used to go there all the time and then stopped. Not sure why, I think D got tired of it. Anyway, after running around all day today (again!) we finally stopped for lunch at our old stomping ground. Three rolls later we were quite happy and content. Came home, D made a pot of tea had some dates and then it was time to take a nap - with Mooshi on my chest - that cat is such a love boy. I love taking naps and wish I could take one every day.

Backing up - earlier in the day, completed the paperwork and payment for the cats. Picked up their travel kennels, complete with doggie pads.

Paid an additional $280.00 bucks for express service for D's visa (going through an agency), this on top of the $565 visa application and another $150.00 for express service with the UK border agency, plus FexX fees. But hey, if we can get his visa back by end of next week, it's all worth it.

Before that we visited Basco's - and looked at furniture appliances. We agreed on the cobalt blue Viking stove with hood. But cannot agree on the fridge and dishwasher. D cannot stand stainless steel and that's all they come in. Well, they also come in white - but I refuse to go that route. I really want to get the 50's style Smeg color fridge - but D says it's too small. So, going to do some research on the internet and ask Charlotte (our designer) to see if she can come up with some thing. She totally gets us and recommended the cobalt blue stove - so am hoping she can come through for us on the fridge.

Before that had breakfast at St. Honore and before that I actually made it to Yoga Pearl at 6am for my simple Primary practice - it felt good. Dedicated my practice to D for his ability to remain calm through it all - something I still aspire too. But managed to breath relatively calmly through most of the practice.

Week end is here and I'm going to chill. I want to get a pedicure - it's been months and let's just say the toes and feet are feeling neglected and not looking their best. Need to get ready for spring.

Oh, and we both want to go back to Mio Sushi.

dare I say progress?

D has said all along, "at some point things were get easier". Perhaps our time has come.

Met with our design duo, Kevin and Charlotte, and settled on the new home design. If any family members are reading this - you cannot say anything to anyone about this (and yes that includes mother). We are both very excited as it will totally open up living, dining and kitchen areas.

After our design meeting, we dropped in at the government's finger printing agency to see if D could get his visa fingerprints done today and not tomorrow. Suprise, suprise, they let him in! After that, drove across town and got the official copy of our marriage certificate, over to Kinko's and I got my passport photo done (required for his application), then to the bank to get copies of my passport and visa notarized, and then over to FedX to overnight the whole package down to LA! Finally ate lunch at 4 today. I was completely shocked.

Tomorrow must do's: get the kennel for the cat's sorted out. Secondly, off to the design center to pick our kitchen appliances. Current thinking is a cobalt blue Viking range and maybe (if I can convince D) a lime green SMEG fridge.

Oh, and I made it back to yoga this morning after taking yesterday morning off. My back was a bit cranky, so I did a ton more backbending at end of practice and it seemed to work itself out.

And maybe the biggest shocker of the day? I managed to call mom on her birthday, I was the last kid (out of ten, mind you) that called her. I think she was more happy that she spoke to all her children rather than actually having a conversation with me. Oh well, nice I can make her that happy.

what a difference a day (or two) makes

Maybe I've turned a corner?

D's visa paperwork is almost done. Waiting for the cover letter from the UK, supposed to arrive tomorrow AM. Only need to get his visa photo's done and the finger printing. Apppointment for the finger printing is on Friday, but hoping they might let him do it on Thursday so that I can send the package off on Thursday. Every day counts!

Drove down to Salem yesterday and now have Mooshi and Juju's (the cat's) paperwork stamped by the USDA. Just need to find the kennel's to ship them in and pay the Pet Mover's fee and we're all set there.

D convinced me to ask for an extension and stay in Portland for another week. Wasn't sure how I was going to ask for it without sounding like a whiner. In the end, I got it. I'm here in Portland for another week. Me so happy!! I have a very understanding and compassionate boss in the UK.

So, am feeling a huge relief. I'm hoping that when I do go back that D will be able to follow me in a week. Even if it's two weeks that's okay. But the idea of going back this week-end and living solo for three weeks was just about more than I can deal with. I knew that I'd be living on my own for the first six months of my assignment. But I've done it and I am done with it. I'm not signing up for anymore of that.

What a difference a day makes; or in my case two.

so not worth it

This is basically how I feel. So much paperwork and back and forth with the lawyer offices in London, the work office in Cheadle and me here in the states just to get my husband's visa sorted out. All of this could have been avoided if I was told to do this month's ago while he was waiting it out with the cats. But no, we didn't think he would have to get a visa, only to be told later that's not the case.

So now I'm on hold with the CIBT visa services to see if they can expedite his application process. Meanwhile, have to wait another day for the London office to okay his application, wait two more days until the Cheadle office can airmail the application letter on company letter head, plus who knows how long he'll have to wait to make his appointment for fingerprinting.

I decided to move the cats flights by a week too. As I'm still sorting through the paperwork for those two monsters. Plus, I can't find the right international kennel to ship them in. On top of it all the company that I'm paying so much money to make sure they get over there okay is now telling me conflicting information. I have to drive to Salem to have the USDA approve some of their forms - I thought it was the APHIS form, but now they're telling me no, just the EU journal. But the APHIS form can only be dated ten days in advance of their departure by our vet - otherwise the airline won't take them. So, another trip to the vet. Which I was going to have to do anyway as I looked at how they completed the EU journal and found several errors - including incorrectly spelling my name and not entering the dates correctly (day/month/year). Is it really that hard to fill out a form?

Back to my husband's visa - I just spoke to someone from CIBT and explained the situation. Of course they told me more conflicting information. According to them, my husband doesn't qualify for visa. This makes no f'ing sense. I highly doubt the law firm in London is having me complete all the paperwork to get his visa. wtf - now what? I guess I'll email the London office again and find out what to do.

In addition the external hard drive that I got for D's Mac at home to back up everything isn't working. Trying to use Time Machine and it backs up 272GB but then stops. I've followed all of Apple's recommendations. Not sure what to do - maybe I'll partition it as it's a 2TB drive. I've been trying to get this to work for the past four days.

On top of that, while I was in the UK, our internet service went down. So D had a friend come over and set up our new internet connection. The only problem is that we have no idea what the password is. This friend just happens to be in Iran on holiday. I've emailed him so I'm sure I'll hear back soon. But for now I had to come into work (even though I'm supposed to be on PTO). So far, I managed to stay undetected, thanks to a friend who is letting me hide out in her office.

But wait, there's more. It's called work. I can officially say that I am burned out. My list of things to do is feeling impossible, my inbox has 269 emails in it, 51 of which are unread, and probably another 100 that probably requires some action on my part.

I was going to try and complete my expense report - but I can't even do that. As D forgot to give me his receipt. wah, wah, wah - can you hear me?

And even though I've managed to get up at 5 this morning and do my yoga practice, I have lost my ability to cope with all of this. More than once I've had to hold back the tears. Which I know is really stupid as in the big scheme of things this is really nothing. I mean crap, D had cancer and we survived that. This should be a piece of cake.

But right now my only feeling is that this is so not worth it. I wish I was staying in Portland. Am I pathetic or what? And no M you don't need to answer that.

For the record I should also add that I'm feeling terrible that I haven't connected with family members, friends or even called my mom. Just more things I can't deal with.

I just read this entire post and I can't even stand myself.

Saturday in Portland

D and I just came back from walking the Fairmount loop. It's just under a four mile walk from our home that takes you around our little mountain - Council Crest. I love the walk for many reasons, one it's a loop and not an out and back and since it's near the top of our little mountain it has great views of the city, river and hills. Plus I like to notice all the changes, what homes are for sale, who's remodeling, and I love all the foliage. Many of the shrubs are just beginning to bud.

It's only 10am and the whole day is ahead of us. A few things on the agenda but nothing too major. I've had a hell of a week at work. It didn't help that I went back to the office last night at 6pm and worked for a couple of hours. Today is going to be a blackberry and iPhone free day. I'll see if I can do it. I really need a mental break.

I really wanted to do a vinyasa class at YogaPearl but it's cancelled due to a yoga workshop going on today. I took yesterday off as it was a moon day, so will have to do a bit of restorative yoga later today.

Okay, enough rambling about absolutely nothing! Time to shower and head out.

Wine & making decisions

Not sure if it was the wine or what; but D and I sat down toasted to a glass of wine and made some decisions.

1. Not renting the house
2. Go ahead with re-modeling
3. Not shipping any house hold items from Ptown to England;
except for his computer.

Let's see what other decisions we make after more wine. The night I still very young.
Cheers!

Tired....

I cannot get over my jet lag. I actually slept rather well last night, but I am so tired today. Of course it doesn't help that I'm stuck in a windowless room for an all day meeting.

Fortunately I still made it to yoga this morning. I'm on a roll for a full week's practice. Of course Friday is a moon day, but I still may go to the led class Friday night. Will see how I feel. I just want to soak up all the classes that I can while I'm here.

I'm completely debating the Mexico yoga retreat in April - have to make a decision soon.

Tonight - D and I have to make the list of all the crap we have to do to close up our Portland house and do the final move. No wonder I woke up with a headache this morning.

Portland!

Made it back to Portland Saturday afternoon. So incredibily surreal to walk back into our home. Since D hasn't moved, the house is just like it was when I last left. It's almost like I have to remind myself that I have this life, job and home in the UK. Very strange feeling, which has made for some bizarre dreams - most of which I don't remember. Saturday laid around the house - felt lousy with a crappy head ache.

Sunday went back to Yoga Pearl. I didn't tell anyone that I was coming back, fun to suprise my yogi friends. Since this trip is all about the family move back to the UK (and work!) I didn't want to share the news to too many people. I just don't have time to see everyone. After yoga we ate at Prasad. Love that place! Plan to eat there at least every other day - and maybe more than that. I devoured the: FEISTY TOSTADA (raw) - jalapeno cashew cheese, fresh spinach, avocado, sun-dried tomatoes, scallions & green chili sauce on pumpkin seed pesto raw crackers, served with a side of hot sauce & a small green salad with garlic tahini dressing, downed it with their Melody juice (greens, apple, lemon, and ginger). I crave that after yoga.

Sunday night - D made a great dinner of fish with chopped up tiny roasted veggies. Sorry if this is all about food; but you have to remember living alone I have an incredibly simple diet. So my taste buds are having a great holiday with all of this wonderful food. Later that afternoon we went to our favorite French bakery - St. Honore for their flour less orange cake and a cup of black coffee - perfect combination.

Attempted to watch the Oscars Sunday night, but I found them to be a complete bore - so putzed around the house instead. Didn't sleep well at all, woke up at 1am hungry so ate some cereal with a banana, popped a melatonin and woke back up at 4:15. Got up at 5:15 and made it to yoga. I'm thoroughly going to enjoy each and every practice over the course of the next couple of weeks.

Not even going to talk about work - lot going on. Not all great, will be interesting to see how the rest of this week unfolds.

Cat update - looks like we're getting all the paperwork in order, will be driving down to Salem (state capitol) on Friday to get their EU journal notarized by the government.

Met with the design team for the house this morning. So many options - will be fun to lift the roof and do a redesign of our kitchen, dining and living rooms. We just need to figure out when we're going to do it. Which really depends on the length of my expat assignment and if we're going to rent the house or not, etc. Too many unknowns.

Okay realize this post is a bit of everything; but I'm tired and not thinking very coherently. So going to stop now.