so not worth it

This is basically how I feel. So much paperwork and back and forth with the lawyer offices in London, the work office in Cheadle and me here in the states just to get my husband's visa sorted out. All of this could have been avoided if I was told to do this month's ago while he was waiting it out with the cats. But no, we didn't think he would have to get a visa, only to be told later that's not the case.

So now I'm on hold with the CIBT visa services to see if they can expedite his application process. Meanwhile, have to wait another day for the London office to okay his application, wait two more days until the Cheadle office can airmail the application letter on company letter head, plus who knows how long he'll have to wait to make his appointment for fingerprinting.

I decided to move the cats flights by a week too. As I'm still sorting through the paperwork for those two monsters. Plus, I can't find the right international kennel to ship them in. On top of it all the company that I'm paying so much money to make sure they get over there okay is now telling me conflicting information. I have to drive to Salem to have the USDA approve some of their forms - I thought it was the APHIS form, but now they're telling me no, just the EU journal. But the APHIS form can only be dated ten days in advance of their departure by our vet - otherwise the airline won't take them. So, another trip to the vet. Which I was going to have to do anyway as I looked at how they completed the EU journal and found several errors - including incorrectly spelling my name and not entering the dates correctly (day/month/year). Is it really that hard to fill out a form?

Back to my husband's visa - I just spoke to someone from CIBT and explained the situation. Of course they told me more conflicting information. According to them, my husband doesn't qualify for visa. This makes no f'ing sense. I highly doubt the law firm in London is having me complete all the paperwork to get his visa. wtf - now what? I guess I'll email the London office again and find out what to do.

In addition the external hard drive that I got for D's Mac at home to back up everything isn't working. Trying to use Time Machine and it backs up 272GB but then stops. I've followed all of Apple's recommendations. Not sure what to do - maybe I'll partition it as it's a 2TB drive. I've been trying to get this to work for the past four days.

On top of that, while I was in the UK, our internet service went down. So D had a friend come over and set up our new internet connection. The only problem is that we have no idea what the password is. This friend just happens to be in Iran on holiday. I've emailed him so I'm sure I'll hear back soon. But for now I had to come into work (even though I'm supposed to be on PTO). So far, I managed to stay undetected, thanks to a friend who is letting me hide out in her office.

But wait, there's more. It's called work. I can officially say that I am burned out. My list of things to do is feeling impossible, my inbox has 269 emails in it, 51 of which are unread, and probably another 100 that probably requires some action on my part.

I was going to try and complete my expense report - but I can't even do that. As D forgot to give me his receipt. wah, wah, wah - can you hear me?

And even though I've managed to get up at 5 this morning and do my yoga practice, I have lost my ability to cope with all of this. More than once I've had to hold back the tears. Which I know is really stupid as in the big scheme of things this is really nothing. I mean crap, D had cancer and we survived that. This should be a piece of cake.

But right now my only feeling is that this is so not worth it. I wish I was staying in Portland. Am I pathetic or what? And no M you don't need to answer that.

For the record I should also add that I'm feeling terrible that I haven't connected with family members, friends or even called my mom. Just more things I can't deal with.

I just read this entire post and I can't even stand myself.